New Year’s Resolutions: Why We Fail Every Time?

We are making wonderful plans, decorating our planners in million colors, anticipating the magic of the January 1st with excitement and thrill, stepping into a new year full of hope and dreams, inspired to become better and 100% sure that this time, we are going to make everything right. In February, we often lose motivation, as soon as reality hits us in the face, lack of time becomes one of our excuses and our plans and goals are pushed into the backgrounds of our lives. By March everything slowly goes back to how it was. Old lifestyle, old habits, old excuses. We decide to postpone things because “now is not the right time”, it will be better in Summer, or maybe in September, or probably next year…

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First of all, we tend to make “perfect plans” that are all looking very nice on paper, but are almost impossible to be achieved in a real life, especially over night. We aspire to control the outcome of our future, but it is not possible to be controlled. Even if we are aware of the fact that things often don’t work out the way we planed, we still think that a “magic shift” will happen when the clock hits midnight and we step into a new beginning: our mistakes are erased, our bad habits are forgotten and from now on, everything will be clear and perfect.

I don’t know whether it is the fireworks or a new leaf in a calendar or some kind of  numerology game, but it is crazy how we can be obsessed with the idea of a new beginning after that January 1st. We actually believe that it is literally a new start, a new life, a rebirth. Firstly, the Universe doesn’t operate on time basis. It doesn’t measure time in days and years. Time is just a way of organizing life in measure units that somebody made up a long time ago. So basically, the New Year’s Eve is just another day in a row, we just gave it a “bigger meaning”.

Secondly, a human being and its characteristics/habits/way of life don’t change over night. We think negatively because we were thinking negatively for 20 years. We gained 20 pounds because we were eating fast food for 10 years. We are lazy now because we got lazy over time. If I am a negative person who needs to lose weight and wants to be more active in 2018, how am I supposed to become a hard-working individual who goes to gym and thinks positively from January 1st? I will fail 100% if I expect a rapid changes in my mindset and my behavior. I would end up disappointed and miserable, probably even gain 5 more pounds by Valentine’s day. It doesn’t work that way. Changes are not going to happen tomorrow.

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The thing that moves this whole “New Year’s” excitement is the only thing that keeps us alive sometimes (except love), and that’s hope. Hope in a better future, hope in a good life, hope that things will work out in the end, somehow, for all of us. And this is a good thing. Hope is a good thing. We only have to realize that changes and goals need time and patience. We won’t change anything tomorrow because our problems and habits will not magically disappear tomorrow. We cannot control everything always and we have to admit to ourselves that there will be shitty days, lonely days, lazy days, busy days. There will be problems, there will be sadness, there will be stressful times. This is life and we are humans. The sooner we accept that fact, the happier we’ll be.

The only thing we can change over night is our perception, the way we look at our reality. Very fast, we can learn to look at things from another perspective and see a positive side of every situation. It comes over night and we get better at this every day. It’s simple: You can look at things positively or negatively. You have only one life. Why waste it on a negative perspective? The same is with our thoughts. You have to think about something always, right? We can think in a positive or in a negative way about different things. Why not think positively?

We should make decisions according to our current situation and possibilities. It means: make the best out of the moment. You don’t always have to be the positive or involved or hard-working or nice. Give yourself a break sometimes. Don’t try to fulfill somebody else’s expectations of  “the perfect version” or yourself or your life.

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This moment is called NOW and this is the only thing you have. See the possibility of it, use it in the best way you can. It means- in the best way to make yourself happy. Think of Now as the last moment of your life. This is the perspective you should keep in your mind forever and always. I know it is hard, but that’s why you should remind yourself over and over again until you really get it. Keep trying. Keep recalling that though in you mind: “This is my moment. This is all I have. I won’t waste it”.

Seriously, imagine you have, for example, two weeks left in this life. Which problems would be important to you then? How would you spend your time? Who would you spend it with? In those answers you’ll find your purpose you should focus on and your path you should follow.

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In making your New Year’s resolutions, not only are your habits  and your usual lifestyle important, but also your character and your dreams, your ambitions and your history. You know deep down inside whether you want something or not. This is the voice you should listen to. Don’t make any decision if you don’t believe in it. The same implies to your plans: don’t make plans you don’t believe in, don’t set goals you know you won’t achieve. Those things have to be very clear to you from the start.

If you decide to stop smoking or you decide to start working out, those kind of decisions consider a lifestyle change. It means they require daily devotion and hard work. You have to make a decision to change, but you have to recall that decision every day, even a few times during the day. In other words, you have to make that decision over and over again. If you want to change your diet for example, every meal is a new decision (not to eat chocolate cake, but salad for example). Smokers who smoke 10-20 cigarettes per day, they need 10-20 new decisions every day (not to light up a cigarette). Making that resolution on January 1st is the easy part.

It doesn’t mean that the rest of your days are filled with suffer and sadness. This is the problem and this is why we fail. We think it is HARD. And who loves to suffer? No one. That’s where the positive thinking comes in. You have to learn to think positively. It means to be thankful for the blessings you have, to remind yourself of the things you already been through and survived, to remember the happy times, the good times and to follow that feeling. Think of the positive things in your life, think about people you love and it may be weird at the beginning, but trust me, it is harder to live miserably and think negatively than doing this. You won’t need to remind yourself every day of your resolutions once they becomes your new lifestyle. Don’t focus on things you are “giving up”. Focus on the good feelings, new habits and good changes you are experiencing. Focus on what you get, not what you “lose”. The thing is, you are not losing anything if you are giving up the bad habits and bad behavior. You are only gaining.

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You’ll know that you are on a good track once you start enjoying your new lifestyle, when you start attracting more positivity in your life and when you realize that the journey makes you happy, not the destination. You have to feel those things on your skin, not just read and talk about it. When you start enjoying your “suffer” and your “hard work”, you’ll know you’ve reached the top. I’ve read a good quote on Instagram one day, it says: “It is easier to wake up early and work out than it is to look in the mirror each day and not like what you see” . The same implies to every New Year’s resolution. Don’t wait with your decisions anymore. Life is too short.

Remember, there is only one resolution you have to make and that is: to be happy. Whatever makes you truly happy, whatever brings you closer to your true self, to the person you want to be, this is what I wish you to pursue in 2018 and every year that follows. Just do whatever you need to do to be happy and to stay happy. And never forget the fact that this moment is all you have, so be happy NOW!!

Happy New Year :-)))) !!!

 

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